First of many...Hopefully

OK! I suck at this keeping up with the Kardashians...I mean blogging! But...you will be happy to know that I am done student teaching, and now have a considerable amount of time on my hands...what do I do with it...you know the answer...blog! so....I have been working on some posts for the last few weeks so the should now be flowing like the salmon of capistrano....

In case you didn't know who the tooth fairy was....

Leave it to "A"in our classroom to tell it like it is. Here we are with a group of 24 innocent 2nd graders...oh wait no 23....it's early in the morning we are just coming in and preparing for our day and "A" decides she needed to make an announcement. We have our desks arranged in a big "U" shape and she goes into the middle and says in a loud raspy voice "Hey guys-did you know that the toothfairy is just your mom!"... Some "no's" and "ya's" silently make their way from the rest of the group, when one of our little innocent friends replies, "Umm, I lost a tooth two nights ago, and the tooth fairy brought me money"...to which our little A responds, "Umm, that was probably the 'mom' fairy or the 'dad' fairy"(as she roles her eyes and flips her long brown hair)....

okay so seriously, women, the "your looking tired" comment has got you escape our very impulsive vocabulary...so this morning, I wake up a little late, and say screw the heavy face makeup...put on some cover up and mascara and called it a day...hey I'm still young... so new age. SO anyways, I sprint to school all disheveled and get into the teachers lounge... where the other student teacher so bravely takes one look at me..."long night?" she stares, "poor thing you look tired"... awe sorry E, I forgot to rest up for you last night! whats up with that? I thought it was funny, however, come on women, nonments(non compliments) are not okay, I've heard this one thrown around a time or two....no one wants to here that they look like shit...esp. when they do ;)

learning my own lesson...

So, this week I was super busy and stressed because I had to be observed by my head supervisor in my classroom. I had to do my own 40 minute lesson with the class. I did a lesson about Olympic nutrition. Everything went well. After the supervisor left we let the class kind of wind down and they were just asking funny questions that they could not when she was in class. One kid, Joey, gave us his own lesson....now Joey is the cutest kid, he is a little chubby, has bright blond super curly hair, and has a speech impediment that makes him sound like he is about 3...But Joey is the smartest kid in the class, he is about 2 years above grade level...a little too smart himself sometimes...so there we are answering some questions and he raises his hand..yes Joey...he stands up by his desk, "sometimes you have to be very careful and read the small writing ...companies will trick you, they say healthy, natural, sometimes organic and then there will be like hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, or that stuff that makes your tummy hurt (rubs his belly), aspartame, like that peanut butter says natural, but it might have bad stuff in it, or a lot of salt".....so there you have it....if a 9 year can spout this off, why can't the rest of us? hahha...

Monday Column of the week.... Gyms and Pervs

Okay...so what is the deal with the showers in gyms? It's like "hit the showers" meets Fast Times at Ridgemont High. To put this into perspective, I frequent two gyms that I would say are pretty well known and pretty popular...both of them with the same unusual shower problem. Let me paint a picture for you...You decide to take a swim at your local gym, or you decide to be the one third of gym members to actually break a sweat during your workout: great. So- now you smell, even better; lets make use of the gym showers. So you try to get naked behind the shower curtain to prepare to wash...your scrubbing along, and wooooo, breast.....ooooh, titty, ahhhh! Nipple!....lets be honest here, having a shower curtain that is tan with a strip through the middle of clear, does not leave much to the imagination...I mean unless your under 5'2", you either gotta hold 'em or let 'em fly, because they are showing. It is my opinion that this is no accident, I mean, we all know who created these showers...guys...really? ...if the curtain is closed, chances are someone is in there...So my question is, why the clear strip? and since I will never know, my advice-- cover up the nips....who knows who could lurking in the locker room....

Haiti Helpers...

So I'm one week down with my student teaching and it is going great!!!! There are the cutest little girls in my class, about four of them, who were so sad about the earthquake in Haiti that they decided they wanted to help....They began making little bracelets and selling them at recess. I told them that I would like to buy one and asked how much they sell them for. They said fifty cents!!! Then I found out that they have made over $110!!! That's hundreds of little bracelets! They sell everyday at both recesses and after school!! They are adorable :) (I think I will tip them!)...

My Little Clay ;)

Alright...so...I finally started my student teaching!!! yay!!! and I love the class and the teacher...they are hilarious...so there's this one little boy...so cute, kyle, reminds me of Clay...for those of you who knew him as a little tyke....he never can actually sit down, he is always stading right by his seat jumping, or up on his knees or bouncing everywhere...so much energy, and today the teacher explained that we will be starting a unit on the olympics starting friday, and this excited him...when the teacher turned her back to go back to the desk little clay (jupimg by the side of his chair)... began to do a little dance he turned to the side with his hands up doing the "walk like an egyptian" dance...unfortunately for him the teacher turned in the middle of the dance and got angry with him, but he looked at me and I smiled and giggled...he was just stinkin funny!

Okay, so now that I am back, I plan on talking A LOT over the next few months as I embark on a new journey the next six months....I will be starting my student teaching in a 3/4 combo class tomorrow and I am so excited....but also scared s***less!!! ;)!! Heres a brief descritption of the last few months while I have been gone....beside school work....packing house in detroit....party in San Fran...moving to Cali....champ move to Cali.. Jordo move to Cali...enjoy are new pool for once...landscape the house...watch our pool turn into puddle of mud...watch the landscape float away....and now I'm blogging...pics to come!!!

I'M BACK B*****es!!!!

okay, so I don't know why people live anywhere else than in southern California...it is beautiful weather!! Everybody is so cranky in Michigan...no one gets a joke, no one laughs..well because it is depressing and overcast about 90% of the time!! Not too mention everybody is Vitamin D deficient...which makes you moody and unhealthy!! Move it people!! find happiness!!

Attack of the naked men...

So when you work in retail, often times you are called upon to deal with the mannequins...which is fine. However, they are shaped liked real human beings, except their extremities do not move, and require the smallest outfit they can fit in order to look good. It is hard to dress these things!! well the other morning, I opened the store with one of the lung cancer twins and the night before, the other workers had changed the entire floor...but did not have time to get to the male mannequins....so when we walked in...we were greeted by six naked men...and trust me...they are very lifelike.... so anyway...we began to dismember them in order to get the t-shirts on... creating a CSI scene in our very own store...it looked like a a gay serial killer had come through there... we had naked men laying on the ground with no arms...we had arms lying all over the place....it was hilarious... so then came the challenging part..I had to dress these men....and let me tell you, in order to get the pants on..you really have to take ahold of the mannequin, you throw them over your shoulder, get on the ground, pick them up by their butt, and unfortunately other places...I was hysterical...however, the twin, I do not believe, was so amused...she hadn't had her mountain dew yet.. at one point I had a mannequin with just his button down shirt on and I hadn't buttoned it up all the way...he also had on a necklace... i turned to twin and was like we should just leave him like this...make our store a little edgy...she was like, with a scowl " Umm no, we have to have them dressed all the way before customers come in, and we want to advertise our pants"....ummmm.NO DUH!!!! it was a joke...detroitians.... I keep running into trouble with them...no wonder it is so depressing here...twin-it's okay to laugh....hahha..when she finally realized I was joking she gave a sort of half grin and was like yeah that could be funny....ummm-joke over!!! hahah

basketball jones...A hilarious girl...

For those of you who do not know, I am coaching a youth girls basketball team...I'm sure it will be the source of many future blogs. We had practice last night, and I have a hilarious quote from it. We were working on shooting form...mind you they are only 8 & 9 year-olds...so they are all over the place...they love to try hard though. I had two of them in front of me at one basket and one of them was really struggling with her shot. So I completely lined her up, form, stance...all..then had her shoot. She made it in...hooray!! So I said "great job, perfect form!"...she grabbed her ball, came over to me, tapped me on the back and said "please don't say I'm perfect, I don't like that, I'm a bad shooter, so I know I can't be perfect"...I about fell to the ground, it was so cute and sincere, so matter of fact....hahah what do I say to that?

Garthypoo

So...the other night Garth the man himself Brooks bought me an amazing steak dinner!! While he was not there himself, he still payed for three courses!! Amazing. The catch was that he wanted us to join his foundation which supports children. When we looked at the brochure...Uke was taking his time, looking into it...seeing what it was all about...how much he would have to give. Any donation gets you into his foundation which is great, and Garth triples all donations, with 100% going to the children, so it really is very good. Also, each member gets invited to a huge party...with Garth himself, last year it was at his home, everybody met him and Trish!! AHHH!! I grabbed the pamphlet from Jordon...signed us up, and told him that I would pay any amount to see him in concert, especially to meet him, and now we can help out the kids!!! sign the paper!!! NOW!!!!

Giving in to the caffeine

Okay, so as many of my family members know, caffeine has never been my friend. Ever since my days at the local bakery...getting a mocha freeze..and then having to sprint home...literally, (we lived close to the school), I have struggled with caffeine. However, when I continue to consume against my stomachs' will I begin to get very tolerant of caffeine...i.e. coffee...however, stomach problems are not my only side effect...I am like a person on speed when I drink a whole cup of coffee, I'm shaky, focused, fast, awake, energetic, and I can get a considerable amount done...or not not done if I am looking into something else. As of late, I have been reading about how caffeine is really not that good for you...so I want to wean myself off. I cannot. I wake up feeling great, but at about 10:30 I plummet into a glazed over mummy person...I need coffee...so needless to say I am now able to blog because I just warmed up a cup of folgers....someone help me...this could be the death of me and my tummy!

Lung cancer twins

**sorry for not blogging, I really have no real excuse except that I have been busy, I will try to stay on top of it next time!!

Anyways.....so I work for a store that shall remain nameless in a mall that shall remain nameless...and I'm a little sick of it. I mean I get a great discount, they give me pretty flexible hours...just every fricken day....and it really takes no brain power...however, I decided to enter into this working field to make friends...be social..etc... however, there are a few girls I cannot stand....I.E. the lung cancer twins...They are two of the managers at our beautiful store. I call them the lung cancer twins because not only to they start every day with a cigarette and a bottle of mountain dew, but they seem to light up every chance they get, and on my watch...one of them, when confronted by another coworker about her smoking habit said that she started smoking when Tupac died because she was so sad....she's Cambodian??anyways...I believe that's a great excuse for your pack a day, that's always blowing in my face...not too mention she reaks!! But that's not even the one the story is about...its the other twin. Last week I was forced to work at night, not because they forced me, but because I fricken cannot lie. They ask me, "are you doing anything Wednesday night?" well-no I'm not!, but doesn't hanging out with my husband and champ count?? haha...so of course I'll fill in for you, I'm married, going to school, I have no life...so my hours for that night are 4-10pm, which shouldn't be too bad...mall closes at 9pm, as long as I'm done straitening, maybe I can get out early...well I get most of the straitening done before 9, so I'm thinking alright...however, 10 rolls around...and we still have more to do....10:30 rolls around, the manager, whom we are not allowed to leave because no one can be in the store alone still has stuff to do (smoke)...so anyways it's about 11:15 and she tells me that we need to take out the trash..."yipee"...so we take out about 6 loads around the mall to the big trash can in the back...11:30...she tells me that she needs to go to her car....it's personal...but I cant go back into the store..mind you its night in Michigan, it has been raining all day, and it's about 40 degrees...I only have on what I was wearing in the store, a shirt, vest and light jeans...so 5 minutes rolls by, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes...I'm thinking to myself you've got to be kidding, where the h*** is this chick...so I walk back outside towards the parking lot....oh there she is, lung cancer, smoking out back...she says sorry... "i needed a few cigarettes to finish up the night"....yeah while I freeze my a** off, she went out to get her jacket so she could sit outside for half hour and smoke the night away...I wanted to take her cigarette and shove it up.....then take her bottles of mountain dew and .....anyways...just venting, thought you'd like to know about my lovely store, if your in the area and need a smoke...you know where to go!!!