In another side note...at this exact moment in time...I am enjoying...at a very high volume Menehune Beach bom Boogie...he even pauses and points and waits for me to fill in the lines....."HONNA HO"(one more time).... how am supposed to do any work...."uh oh, next song"-Uke, with a excited grin.. (this really just happened)..."surf, surf, everybody go surf, oooh oh aaaah oooo"....

My "Uke"

Hi all! sorry about my disappearance, me and the Uke have been under the weather all week, and thus my blog suffered. I'm back now though!!!



Anyways, you all may wonder why I refer to my husband as "uke"....let me tell you the real story behind this.... My Hawaiian husband has always played the ukulele. Every once in awhile in college he'd break it out to impress the ladies..i.e. me, or he play a bit for his friends, pretty much just goof off. However, as of late, the Ukulele has become a staple in our house. Every afternoon when he comes home he likes to unwind with a little ukulele playing. The first week I was back, I found it peaceful...it was so nice to have background music in the house. Not to mention we had a little piece of Hawaii in our very own home... the next week I felt the same, however, I had the Uke stay down stairs...as I couldnt really concentrate with the same line "menehune beach bom boogie...menehune boogie woogie" being played over and over and over again...the next week we did not like being apart from one another...so I let him grace me and champ in the living room again. I figured if you can't beat'em-join 'em..so I began to sing the lyrics for my little Uke. The Uke even told me if I give him five years he can retire from football...and play the ukulele for money...I cant wait. So if you wanna know what we as a family do on any given night...pull up a chair and listen to the gentle music stylings of the Uke, and lyric extraordinaire muah...and even a little background from the family mascot...

My fav- "girl I wanna lay you down....like peanut butter..." Classic... :)

I love you Uke!

C-Fricken-SET

Please don't cry!!! I will not be back until Monday 8/14....as I have a very important/lame/hated/going to die/suicide/kill me now test that is away from my home this weekend...SO I will not be blogging until then...just wait a few more days..."Don't cry for me Alabama"- (Billy Shatner, miss. Conjen.)

Mr. Kirby

So for us young ones, i.e. me and the Uke(hubby, who always plays uke...), you might think that we have crazy fun Saturday nights... For our Saturday night of this exciting labor day weekend, we went all out, I mean crazy! Just listen here... so me and the uke were feeling a little hungry, not sure what we wanted to do....the uke wanted to watch a football game that was on, so we thought we should go to the local sports bar-great. However, as we were on our way out at about 7:45, literally locking up, turning off the lights, we were greeted by the nicest of men at our door. This young gentlemen asked us if he and his friend could clean a part of our carpet to show a product. He said we don't have to buy anything, but by us letting them do this they would receive money towards their college credits. He said it would be about five minutes. So uke, being the nicest of guys said "sure". 8:05- finally both men arrive, one bringing in boxes and boxes of stuff, he plops down on our living room carpet. The other one (who slightly resembles a peewee herman doll in a suit that talked that my cousin had as a child)begins to talk at about 90 mph about the "Kirby," a state of the art vacuum....he goes on and on and on. Not too mention when he calls in our name, the Uke's cover is blown...so now they think, of course we are going to buy. Finally Billy Mays on the floor has finished putting together the parts. He has to put together the vacuum every time, because he usually leaves them in peoples houses...bs...so anyway...I begin to salivate because, if you do not know me...I love infomercials....I have never bought anything from them, poor Billy, but I do love watching them. And here it was, Billy Mays, in my own house, my own living room. 8:20, he finally starts his demonstration, Herman leaves. Billy begins to vacuum various parts of our living room floor pulling up hair and dirt that's been in their for who knows how long. He vacuums the stairs, the wood, the carpet, our own maid, we just let him go. About half way through his little demonstration, we ask, "how much is this thing anyway". He says "well it can be whatever you want, my job is to make it affordable for you." We say, "but what is the total cost," "$3200". Both our mouths drop. They really stop by peoples house expecting them to pay three thousand dollars! ummm, yeah right, not now. So we act as though we have not just been blown away, and work on our escape. Jordon begins to tell him that we love the product, as it was the most amazing vacuum I had ever seen, but that right now with moving and everything, its just too much, but we'd like to think about it. 8:45- So Billy hears this and immediately lays in. He argues with Jordon for a good 15 minutes. While I on the couch rolling with hunger pains, worried a fight would be breaking out any second. He asks Jordon how much everything is in our house, why we would buy that and not the vacuum. He even grabbed my purse, "why did you buy this," "uhhhhh-because I wanted it," "right and you want the Kirby, so why don't you buy it." "I'll take ten dollars off every foot you throw your old vacuum!" I mean come on this guy would not stop. Finally I chimed in and tried to explain to him that we don't just drop 3 G's on the drop of a hat, we would have to talk about it. 9:00(starving), Billy begins to sulk. He plops back down on the carpet, "Umm I need windex and towels to clean off my machine" ("Umm let me shove that windex up your...."). He pulled out every little piece of equipment, half of it Champ grabbing, not making it easier for him and begins to slowly wipe it off. He's gonna work on us while he cleans. "I lived in the projects growing up with no food, no money, but my mom had two Kirby's"...so your mom spent $6000 on kirbys for your one bedroom, and you didn't have enough for food? Umm...not a selling point. "When I first got to college, at 18, I saw a Kirby demonstration, I was hooked, I bought one for my dorm room"...umm you, a poor college student spent $3000 on your dorm carpet, when they have maids that vacuum for you....hmmm. 9:15, full of BS Billy is finally almost packed up, Uke has signed a hat for him given him 15 bucks to buy dinner, so his mood has lifted, I'm dying, Champs thieving...what a night. So anyways, our youthful, exciting night has turned into an hour and a half of an infomercial horror film. We finally go to eat, he sits at the bottom of our driveway, lit up, vacuum in hand, sorry buddy, ya didn't leave that one... This is a typical night in my glamourus life ;)

Tall-ey snow Orangerson

So-I have this habit of always trying a little too hard. This happens when I am going to be going on a vacation to see people I haven't seen in awhile...when I'm going to go somewhere nice...when I am feeling a little frumpy...My problem is that in my world, I don't have the opportunity to get glam very often, as I am usually in workout clothes. This past weekend was the first home football game I was going to be attending...so of course I was thrilled, what an outing!! I really wanted to make a good impression this year, and set the stage for myself for the rest of the year. I usually dressed pretty cute last year, but I was always a smudge jealous of the big haired blonde wives/gf's with heels and cute jeans that always looked hot...I was determined. So, like I often do when I'm trying too hard, I decided I needed a little tan before the game to give me that extra boost. However, I ran out of time to go get sprayed, so I applied myself...Now those who know me know I've been faking it for years, so you'd think I'd have it down. I do...however, since I've had a natural tan all summer, I haven't been using the fake....so my body was not in the "orange" realm of colors. I pressed on...and since it was the night before....I needed to apply twice....one at night, and one in the morning...tan achieved. Then I decided that I needed to whiten my teeth because I have been drinking too much coffee lately...so instead of adding a little arm n hammer whitening paste to my toothpaste, like I usually do....I just went for it, and brushed with it. I did not think anything of it until it hurt to drink luke warm water...although, my teeth were as white as Colorado after a blizzard! Moving on...I really wanted to wear heels to the game...however, sometimes I am much more comfortable wearing sandals because I know I will be taller than everyone...so unless I have a friend with me who I'm comfortable with I stick to sandals...but I figured what the H***...so I decided to break in the new cowboy boots...so cute!! I was running a little late when Mr. anal decided he was ready to go...so i figured since I was going to be so early, I could do my hair there...and my makeup in the car...I put on a decent amount of makeup, enough to be cute...but not too much, however, I did my eyes a little extravagant for this huge event (joke). We got to the arena 2 and 1/2 hours early...not two, which is necessary for the players but 2 1/2....so needless to say, I had a lot of time on my hands...I headed straight to the bathroom...I could feel my tan begin to set in...for those of you who do not know...fake tanner takes a bit of time to develop...my face felt as though I had placed it directly in cake...d***it...I needed to get some of the oil off...so I set up shop in front of one of the mirrors and went to work on my orange face...as I could tell I had definitely over done it...not too mention my makeup was not the same tint...I wiped, blended, and did the best I could, but I just kept adding, and adding, and adding, trying to get it too look good, after ten layers...what could look good... I felt as though my face was going to fall off...not too mention my teeth were aching horribly. I then attempted my flat head...I brought spray and a comb to achieve a sexy do...and ratted away...i had so much free time on my hand to do my hair that I ratted and ratted and ratted...trying to achieve the perfect look...However, after so much of this, my hair was like a huge 80's Texas style rats nest...but oh well, at least it was up...I should have quit after like 3 minutes, but Ive never had so much time to achieve a look, usually I'm rushing...so I was finally ready to make my debut... feeling great on the outside...silly on the inside! no too mention I was about a head taller than every other girl I conversed with, one quote "Jordon must be really tall, how tall is he?"...no- "I am"....(this coming from a 5'3" blond, her boyfriend...6'7")...

At one point in my bathroom excursion...which I forgot to mention...A police woman..on the job... was also using her time to freshen up...after I came out of the stall, she came over to me...desperate...asking if she could borrow a little bit of my cover up or foundation to cover up her acne on her chin...I said yes, after all she is an officer of the law, and I did feel badly for her...she explained that Peyton Manning was her all time favorite player...and that her and her husband had a deal...Peyton was the one guy she could cheat on her husband with, and she had just found out that she will be patrolling behind the bench of the Colts...so she wanted to look good...I figured if I could help, why not...it was her dream, however, I don't know if Peyton would go for the sideline cop.... we had some interesting dialogue though...us both trying so hard...

FANNY FRUMP-A FRICKEN-LOT

So sometimes when I stay at home doing homework all day I turn into Franny Frumpy Mcfrumpfrump.....its so bad...like anyone, esp. my husband should see me this way...I really must do something about it...for example, yesterday I was wearing some pajama pants (way too short) and a cute pajama top...however, i had on no bra, and I was cold....so I put on a robe...however, that still was not enough...so I put on a old yucky fleece...faded black...to make matters worse I was wearing my house slippers....that Champ had about destroyed...and dragged outside...I had not done my hair after pilates...and I was a mess!! So in my ever wanting quest to be the best version of myself, I must stop looking like a bag lady from San Fran...it is not appealing! Well I out for now...going to look like a lady today!!

as Kim MacAfee would say.."se la vee for now"

Love, Frumpy Frumpkinstein