okay, so I don't know why people live anywhere else than in southern California...it is beautiful weather!! Everybody is so cranky in Michigan...no one gets a joke, no one laughs..well because it is depressing and overcast about 90% of the time!! Not too mention everybody is Vitamin D deficient...which makes you moody and unhealthy!! Move it people!! find happiness!!

Attack of the naked men...

So when you work in retail, often times you are called upon to deal with the mannequins...which is fine. However, they are shaped liked real human beings, except their extremities do not move, and require the smallest outfit they can fit in order to look good. It is hard to dress these things!! well the other morning, I opened the store with one of the lung cancer twins and the night before, the other workers had changed the entire floor...but did not have time to get to the male mannequins....so when we walked in...we were greeted by six naked men...and trust me...they are very lifelike.... so anyway...we began to dismember them in order to get the t-shirts on... creating a CSI scene in our very own store...it looked like a a gay serial killer had come through there... we had naked men laying on the ground with no arms...we had arms lying all over the place....it was hilarious... so then came the challenging part..I had to dress these men....and let me tell you, in order to get the pants on..you really have to take ahold of the mannequin, you throw them over your shoulder, get on the ground, pick them up by their butt, and unfortunately other places...I was hysterical...however, the twin, I do not believe, was so amused...she hadn't had her mountain dew yet.. at one point I had a mannequin with just his button down shirt on and I hadn't buttoned it up all the way...he also had on a necklace... i turned to twin and was like we should just leave him like this...make our store a little edgy...she was like, with a scowl " Umm no, we have to have them dressed all the way before customers come in, and we want to advertise our pants"....ummmm.NO DUH!!!! it was a joke...detroitians.... I keep running into trouble with them...no wonder it is so depressing here...twin-it's okay to laugh....hahha..when she finally realized I was joking she gave a sort of half grin and was like yeah that could be funny....ummm-joke over!!! hahah

basketball jones...A hilarious girl...

For those of you who do not know, I am coaching a youth girls basketball team...I'm sure it will be the source of many future blogs. We had practice last night, and I have a hilarious quote from it. We were working on shooting form...mind you they are only 8 & 9 year-olds...so they are all over the place...they love to try hard though. I had two of them in front of me at one basket and one of them was really struggling with her shot. So I completely lined her up, form, stance...all..then had her shoot. She made it in...hooray!! So I said "great job, perfect form!"...she grabbed her ball, came over to me, tapped me on the back and said "please don't say I'm perfect, I don't like that, I'm a bad shooter, so I know I can't be perfect"...I about fell to the ground, it was so cute and sincere, so matter of fact....hahah what do I say to that?

Garthypoo

So...the other night Garth the man himself Brooks bought me an amazing steak dinner!! While he was not there himself, he still payed for three courses!! Amazing. The catch was that he wanted us to join his foundation which supports children. When we looked at the brochure...Uke was taking his time, looking into it...seeing what it was all about...how much he would have to give. Any donation gets you into his foundation which is great, and Garth triples all donations, with 100% going to the children, so it really is very good. Also, each member gets invited to a huge party...with Garth himself, last year it was at his home, everybody met him and Trish!! AHHH!! I grabbed the pamphlet from Jordon...signed us up, and told him that I would pay any amount to see him in concert, especially to meet him, and now we can help out the kids!!! sign the paper!!! NOW!!!!

Giving in to the caffeine

Okay, so as many of my family members know, caffeine has never been my friend. Ever since my days at the local bakery...getting a mocha freeze..and then having to sprint home...literally, (we lived close to the school), I have struggled with caffeine. However, when I continue to consume against my stomachs' will I begin to get very tolerant of caffeine...i.e. coffee...however, stomach problems are not my only side effect...I am like a person on speed when I drink a whole cup of coffee, I'm shaky, focused, fast, awake, energetic, and I can get a considerable amount done...or not not done if I am looking into something else. As of late, I have been reading about how caffeine is really not that good for you...so I want to wean myself off. I cannot. I wake up feeling great, but at about 10:30 I plummet into a glazed over mummy person...I need coffee...so needless to say I am now able to blog because I just warmed up a cup of folgers....someone help me...this could be the death of me and my tummy!

Lung cancer twins

**sorry for not blogging, I really have no real excuse except that I have been busy, I will try to stay on top of it next time!!

Anyways.....so I work for a store that shall remain nameless in a mall that shall remain nameless...and I'm a little sick of it. I mean I get a great discount, they give me pretty flexible hours...just every fricken day....and it really takes no brain power...however, I decided to enter into this working field to make friends...be social..etc... however, there are a few girls I cannot stand....I.E. the lung cancer twins...They are two of the managers at our beautiful store. I call them the lung cancer twins because not only to they start every day with a cigarette and a bottle of mountain dew, but they seem to light up every chance they get, and on my watch...one of them, when confronted by another coworker about her smoking habit said that she started smoking when Tupac died because she was so sad....she's Cambodian??anyways...I believe that's a great excuse for your pack a day, that's always blowing in my face...not too mention she reaks!! But that's not even the one the story is about...its the other twin. Last week I was forced to work at night, not because they forced me, but because I fricken cannot lie. They ask me, "are you doing anything Wednesday night?" well-no I'm not!, but doesn't hanging out with my husband and champ count?? haha...so of course I'll fill in for you, I'm married, going to school, I have no life...so my hours for that night are 4-10pm, which shouldn't be too bad...mall closes at 9pm, as long as I'm done straitening, maybe I can get out early...well I get most of the straitening done before 9, so I'm thinking alright...however, 10 rolls around...and we still have more to do....10:30 rolls around, the manager, whom we are not allowed to leave because no one can be in the store alone still has stuff to do (smoke)...so anyways it's about 11:15 and she tells me that we need to take out the trash..."yipee"...so we take out about 6 loads around the mall to the big trash can in the back...11:30...she tells me that she needs to go to her car....it's personal...but I cant go back into the store..mind you its night in Michigan, it has been raining all day, and it's about 40 degrees...I only have on what I was wearing in the store, a shirt, vest and light jeans...so 5 minutes rolls by, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes...I'm thinking to myself you've got to be kidding, where the h*** is this chick...so I walk back outside towards the parking lot....oh there she is, lung cancer, smoking out back...she says sorry... "i needed a few cigarettes to finish up the night"....yeah while I freeze my a** off, she went out to get her jacket so she could sit outside for half hour and smoke the night away...I wanted to take her cigarette and shove it up.....then take her bottles of mountain dew and .....anyways...just venting, thought you'd like to know about my lovely store, if your in the area and need a smoke...you know where to go!!!

In another side note...at this exact moment in time...I am enjoying...at a very high volume Menehune Beach bom Boogie...he even pauses and points and waits for me to fill in the lines....."HONNA HO"(one more time).... how am supposed to do any work...."uh oh, next song"-Uke, with a excited grin.. (this really just happened)..."surf, surf, everybody go surf, oooh oh aaaah oooo"....

My "Uke"

Hi all! sorry about my disappearance, me and the Uke have been under the weather all week, and thus my blog suffered. I'm back now though!!!



Anyways, you all may wonder why I refer to my husband as "uke"....let me tell you the real story behind this.... My Hawaiian husband has always played the ukulele. Every once in awhile in college he'd break it out to impress the ladies..i.e. me, or he play a bit for his friends, pretty much just goof off. However, as of late, the Ukulele has become a staple in our house. Every afternoon when he comes home he likes to unwind with a little ukulele playing. The first week I was back, I found it peaceful...it was so nice to have background music in the house. Not to mention we had a little piece of Hawaii in our very own home... the next week I felt the same, however, I had the Uke stay down stairs...as I couldnt really concentrate with the same line "menehune beach bom boogie...menehune boogie woogie" being played over and over and over again...the next week we did not like being apart from one another...so I let him grace me and champ in the living room again. I figured if you can't beat'em-join 'em..so I began to sing the lyrics for my little Uke. The Uke even told me if I give him five years he can retire from football...and play the ukulele for money...I cant wait. So if you wanna know what we as a family do on any given night...pull up a chair and listen to the gentle music stylings of the Uke, and lyric extraordinaire muah...and even a little background from the family mascot...

My fav- "girl I wanna lay you down....like peanut butter..." Classic... :)

I love you Uke!

C-Fricken-SET

Please don't cry!!! I will not be back until Monday 8/14....as I have a very important/lame/hated/going to die/suicide/kill me now test that is away from my home this weekend...SO I will not be blogging until then...just wait a few more days..."Don't cry for me Alabama"- (Billy Shatner, miss. Conjen.)

Mr. Kirby

So for us young ones, i.e. me and the Uke(hubby, who always plays uke...), you might think that we have crazy fun Saturday nights... For our Saturday night of this exciting labor day weekend, we went all out, I mean crazy! Just listen here... so me and the uke were feeling a little hungry, not sure what we wanted to do....the uke wanted to watch a football game that was on, so we thought we should go to the local sports bar-great. However, as we were on our way out at about 7:45, literally locking up, turning off the lights, we were greeted by the nicest of men at our door. This young gentlemen asked us if he and his friend could clean a part of our carpet to show a product. He said we don't have to buy anything, but by us letting them do this they would receive money towards their college credits. He said it would be about five minutes. So uke, being the nicest of guys said "sure". 8:05- finally both men arrive, one bringing in boxes and boxes of stuff, he plops down on our living room carpet. The other one (who slightly resembles a peewee herman doll in a suit that talked that my cousin had as a child)begins to talk at about 90 mph about the "Kirby," a state of the art vacuum....he goes on and on and on. Not too mention when he calls in our name, the Uke's cover is blown...so now they think, of course we are going to buy. Finally Billy Mays on the floor has finished putting together the parts. He has to put together the vacuum every time, because he usually leaves them in peoples houses...bs...so anyway...I begin to salivate because, if you do not know me...I love infomercials....I have never bought anything from them, poor Billy, but I do love watching them. And here it was, Billy Mays, in my own house, my own living room. 8:20, he finally starts his demonstration, Herman leaves. Billy begins to vacuum various parts of our living room floor pulling up hair and dirt that's been in their for who knows how long. He vacuums the stairs, the wood, the carpet, our own maid, we just let him go. About half way through his little demonstration, we ask, "how much is this thing anyway". He says "well it can be whatever you want, my job is to make it affordable for you." We say, "but what is the total cost," "$3200". Both our mouths drop. They really stop by peoples house expecting them to pay three thousand dollars! ummm, yeah right, not now. So we act as though we have not just been blown away, and work on our escape. Jordon begins to tell him that we love the product, as it was the most amazing vacuum I had ever seen, but that right now with moving and everything, its just too much, but we'd like to think about it. 8:45- So Billy hears this and immediately lays in. He argues with Jordon for a good 15 minutes. While I on the couch rolling with hunger pains, worried a fight would be breaking out any second. He asks Jordon how much everything is in our house, why we would buy that and not the vacuum. He even grabbed my purse, "why did you buy this," "uhhhhh-because I wanted it," "right and you want the Kirby, so why don't you buy it." "I'll take ten dollars off every foot you throw your old vacuum!" I mean come on this guy would not stop. Finally I chimed in and tried to explain to him that we don't just drop 3 G's on the drop of a hat, we would have to talk about it. 9:00(starving), Billy begins to sulk. He plops back down on the carpet, "Umm I need windex and towels to clean off my machine" ("Umm let me shove that windex up your...."). He pulled out every little piece of equipment, half of it Champ grabbing, not making it easier for him and begins to slowly wipe it off. He's gonna work on us while he cleans. "I lived in the projects growing up with no food, no money, but my mom had two Kirby's"...so your mom spent $6000 on kirbys for your one bedroom, and you didn't have enough for food? Umm...not a selling point. "When I first got to college, at 18, I saw a Kirby demonstration, I was hooked, I bought one for my dorm room"...umm you, a poor college student spent $3000 on your dorm carpet, when they have maids that vacuum for you....hmmm. 9:15, full of BS Billy is finally almost packed up, Uke has signed a hat for him given him 15 bucks to buy dinner, so his mood has lifted, I'm dying, Champs thieving...what a night. So anyways, our youthful, exciting night has turned into an hour and a half of an infomercial horror film. We finally go to eat, he sits at the bottom of our driveway, lit up, vacuum in hand, sorry buddy, ya didn't leave that one... This is a typical night in my glamourus life ;)

Tall-ey snow Orangerson

So-I have this habit of always trying a little too hard. This happens when I am going to be going on a vacation to see people I haven't seen in awhile...when I'm going to go somewhere nice...when I am feeling a little frumpy...My problem is that in my world, I don't have the opportunity to get glam very often, as I am usually in workout clothes. This past weekend was the first home football game I was going to be attending...so of course I was thrilled, what an outing!! I really wanted to make a good impression this year, and set the stage for myself for the rest of the year. I usually dressed pretty cute last year, but I was always a smudge jealous of the big haired blonde wives/gf's with heels and cute jeans that always looked hot...I was determined. So, like I often do when I'm trying too hard, I decided I needed a little tan before the game to give me that extra boost. However, I ran out of time to go get sprayed, so I applied myself...Now those who know me know I've been faking it for years, so you'd think I'd have it down. I do...however, since I've had a natural tan all summer, I haven't been using the fake....so my body was not in the "orange" realm of colors. I pressed on...and since it was the night before....I needed to apply twice....one at night, and one in the morning...tan achieved. Then I decided that I needed to whiten my teeth because I have been drinking too much coffee lately...so instead of adding a little arm n hammer whitening paste to my toothpaste, like I usually do....I just went for it, and brushed with it. I did not think anything of it until it hurt to drink luke warm water...although, my teeth were as white as Colorado after a blizzard! Moving on...I really wanted to wear heels to the game...however, sometimes I am much more comfortable wearing sandals because I know I will be taller than everyone...so unless I have a friend with me who I'm comfortable with I stick to sandals...but I figured what the H***...so I decided to break in the new cowboy boots...so cute!! I was running a little late when Mr. anal decided he was ready to go...so i figured since I was going to be so early, I could do my hair there...and my makeup in the car...I put on a decent amount of makeup, enough to be cute...but not too much, however, I did my eyes a little extravagant for this huge event (joke). We got to the arena 2 and 1/2 hours early...not two, which is necessary for the players but 2 1/2....so needless to say, I had a lot of time on my hands...I headed straight to the bathroom...I could feel my tan begin to set in...for those of you who do not know...fake tanner takes a bit of time to develop...my face felt as though I had placed it directly in cake...d***it...I needed to get some of the oil off...so I set up shop in front of one of the mirrors and went to work on my orange face...as I could tell I had definitely over done it...not too mention my makeup was not the same tint...I wiped, blended, and did the best I could, but I just kept adding, and adding, and adding, trying to get it too look good, after ten layers...what could look good... I felt as though my face was going to fall off...not too mention my teeth were aching horribly. I then attempted my flat head...I brought spray and a comb to achieve a sexy do...and ratted away...i had so much free time on my hand to do my hair that I ratted and ratted and ratted...trying to achieve the perfect look...However, after so much of this, my hair was like a huge 80's Texas style rats nest...but oh well, at least it was up...I should have quit after like 3 minutes, but Ive never had so much time to achieve a look, usually I'm rushing...so I was finally ready to make my debut... feeling great on the outside...silly on the inside! no too mention I was about a head taller than every other girl I conversed with, one quote "Jordon must be really tall, how tall is he?"...no- "I am"....(this coming from a 5'3" blond, her boyfriend...6'7")...

At one point in my bathroom excursion...which I forgot to mention...A police woman..on the job... was also using her time to freshen up...after I came out of the stall, she came over to me...desperate...asking if she could borrow a little bit of my cover up or foundation to cover up her acne on her chin...I said yes, after all she is an officer of the law, and I did feel badly for her...she explained that Peyton Manning was her all time favorite player...and that her and her husband had a deal...Peyton was the one guy she could cheat on her husband with, and she had just found out that she will be patrolling behind the bench of the Colts...so she wanted to look good...I figured if I could help, why not...it was her dream, however, I don't know if Peyton would go for the sideline cop.... we had some interesting dialogue though...us both trying so hard...

FANNY FRUMP-A FRICKEN-LOT

So sometimes when I stay at home doing homework all day I turn into Franny Frumpy Mcfrumpfrump.....its so bad...like anyone, esp. my husband should see me this way...I really must do something about it...for example, yesterday I was wearing some pajama pants (way too short) and a cute pajama top...however, i had on no bra, and I was cold....so I put on a robe...however, that still was not enough...so I put on a old yucky fleece...faded black...to make matters worse I was wearing my house slippers....that Champ had about destroyed...and dragged outside...I had not done my hair after pilates...and I was a mess!! So in my ever wanting quest to be the best version of myself, I must stop looking like a bag lady from San Fran...it is not appealing! Well I out for now...going to look like a lady today!!

as Kim MacAfee would say.."se la vee for now"

Love, Frumpy Frumpkinstein

Marley goes through neighbor's house

So today, me and champ were on our usual walk around the back field...we came back around towards our house to find a visitor at our neighbor's house out on the patio...these neighbors are planning for a hundred person reception to go on in our backyard...needless to say the woman who came out was decorating, putting things on the porch, etc...the place was a disaster....I tried and tried to steer Champ clear...but it was too late...he ran over to the woman....that doesn't seem like much, but the woman turned to go back inside before Champ got there, not knowing that a vicious dog was about to be in her face :).... Champ flew through the back door before I could even yell his name...I immediately ran after him...I could here the yells coming from within the house, as they all knew Champ...I got to the back door, realized that the house was full of guests, and saw Champ running up their stairs...their dog came out of the bedroom and chased him right back down...around the living room, around the kitchen, dining room, me following, the neighbor following...he even hit a table and knocked over a lamp, luckily our neighbor was there to catch it...finally I got him under control, punished him, and apologized...however, they thought he was a hoot, just hilarious, I was mortified... what a walk...

I have written this blog in the section under the picture labeled Marley...these posts will be there from now on...

Words of the Wise

My husband drives me up the wall sometimes because he is so easy going and care free, a quality which I really admire...coming from someone who stresses and gets overwhelmed easy...
I seemed to always be living in the future...what will I do with my life...well eventually I want to do this...that....maybe someday...blah blah...it can be to stressful...it seems like a lot of us live for what we will be like in the future...
However, my wise carefree husband said this to me and it really put things in perspective...
He said that he doesn't think about tomorrow because it is another day... just focus on today....if you go to bed knowing that you did all you can that day to be the best person, best athlete, best spouse, best student(things from our life)...then you should sleep well, because that's all you can ask for...he said if you do all you can to work well at the things you are doing then you should be happy at the end of each day...for that is your purpose....
Think about it..this makes sense...while you need to be prepared for the future....you can be living your life as you want it now, living it in the present.... the best person you can be now...not one day...because the term "one day" and "tomorrow" and "maybe", fester within you, and ruin your today...

Marley & Me

Now for those of you that know me...you know that I played with dolls until high school...now for me I feel like that will give me a leg up on the whole parenting scene...I mean I've already been in a tornado with my children...what more could happen(joke)...I feel as though I will be a great parent.
However, my mother once told me that you can tell a lot about what kind of parent you will be by the way you act with your dog. Lets see what kind I'll be...
This morning...me and champ got ready for our usual walk...I had coffee in one hand...leash in the other...I was wearing the most hideous outfit...total floods for pajama bottoms...bright green socks...tshirt and old fleece..no bra...I was a sight...lets just say Champ was wanting to go a little earlier than usual(it was like 7:30, he usually doesn't get up til about 10:00)
Champ was very excited for our little venture, but what he failed to tell me was that he was excited because the sprinklers were on....
Before I knew it...he was off the porch soaking wet...I thought, whatever...until I could not find my other shoe...then I turned to see champ...shoe in mouth...standing over a sprinkler...
I hopped through the grass on one foot...yelling at him...he thought this was hilarious....he ran all over the back hill...me following...sprinklers roaring...And if that weren't enough...a neighbor...who I did not see out on the porch...came to help me in all the commotion...and while I was laughing, holding my bra-less shirt...he finally got Champ to stop...and handed me my shoe... not to mention the coffee and cup were now on the ground...and another leash is gone...
Just another morning in my life....

Sneakers tip...

I recently read about how good walking is for you. While everyone knows exercise is good...yada yada...what you may not realize is that walking while looking up is very therapeudical... its named as walking while looking at the world in its place.
This sounds a little out there, but it is very peaceful...I know that I have this habit of looking at the ground in front of me...I'm blond...I might trip, not too mention I usually have on my head phones...but if you just keep your head up while walking and enjoy God's precious creations you immediately feel good and it can really lift you out of depression.... You see that life is okay even in the crazy world we live in.... and that everything has its place...even you...
I have been doing this while walking with Champ...and it is very relaxing and de-stressing! try it, besides you probably need to get off your lazy butt anyway :)

Gym Shoes. I am woman. I am sport.

Miss. Congeniality...

Last night I watched Miss. Congeniality 1 & 2....in a round about way it reminded me of myself... a woman, who likes her tough exterior...is defined by her work and her ability to kick some major butt mirrors my identity in track...however, then after getting a bit of fame and liking a boy, she becomes a total fashionista. This kind of feels like my goal of being more "in" in the chic world...and starting to like fashion....
However, in not being true to herself, she evolves into someone she does not like... and goes back to her real self, just slightly more feminine.
Moral: I need to not be someone I am not and be true to myself...be a total sexy woman, but also embrace my athletic ability...maybe I'll train for something...that will be for next blog...
I am woman. I am sport.

Marley & Me

So today I found myself, like most other days conversing with champ as though he were actually a human person. I mean how many times do I have to look at him and say "nobody puts baby in the corner" when he's trying to get me to play.... and then what was I thinking when I actually pointed to his eyes and told him to focus...I mean Chelsea....he is a dog....he's not going to get motivated to clean the house...or organize your closet...
I have decided I need some real human time. I have gotten my job back at Guess? no literally...Guess.... cute clothes, young people, it will be just what the doctor ordered....sorry Champ, I love you but some things just should not be done....

Stilettos...now I have a place to where them :)

I am woman. I am sport. I am bored.

Tennees....and stilettos
So...today I was at the gym, and I have to admit... sometimes I think what the hell are you wearing when I see some of the girls in the gym. I mean we aren't going to the playboy mansion, we are sweating...then I think hmmm....why am I really aggravated...they're over there looking good, while I look in the mirror at myself in disgust-sweaty, no make-up, old t-shirt. I mean who wouldn't think I'm attractive, joke. So, while I think in my mind that they are stupid while working out with curled hair, and think nany nany I can lift more than you...I realize that I'm jealous. Girls. So, this whole thing is sparked because I was a lazy ass this morning when I got out of bed, like most days. Did I have time to apply my makeup-yes, did I-no. Maybe I wanna look cute at the gym too....even while I'm sweating...think about it. From now on I'm going to at least put on a little something cute when I get up...even if it's just lipstick :), I'll let you know how it goes. I am woman. I am sport.



Good quote I heard today "You can care, just don't care that much"...think about it...it's good